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CHAPTER ONE

While hiding out in the back room of our family-owned Polish bakery, I spy my mother's therapist––the June issue of Cosmo––lying on a shelf next to the flour. I flip through it, searching for my favorite feature, the relationship quiz.

My mother’s voice terminates my bliss. “Sophie! Come here. It’s getting busy now.” Her Polish accent isn’t nearly as thick as my grandma's, but it’s still undeniable.

“Be right there!” It can’t be that big of a rush, so I’m staying put until I finish this month’s quiz, which is titled, “What’s Your Guy-Q?” Given that I’ve only gone on three dates in my sixteen years––one with a moron, one with a liar, and one with a perv––I’m pretty sure my knowledge of guys will rank somewhere between dumbass and totally clueless.

Source

Too bad my best friend Teegan wasn’t here now, because she’s had a smorgasbord of boyfriends. She’d ace this quiz for sure. Luckily, she tells me everything. I concentrate on what she’s confided to me in the past, zipping through the first eleven questions. I can’t believe how easy it is to figure out which answers will give me the highest points. If only school were this easy, I’d have straight B’s.

Five minutes later, Mom’s slacker alarm goes off. “Sophie, let’s go!”

“One second!” I answer the last question and tally up my points. Hmm…weird. A thirteen. Must be one of those quizzes where a low score is better. I scan the ratings on the bottom and see that a thirteen puts me into category D: In Desperate Need of Help. Thanks, Cosmo. I know that’s just another way of saying Shitty. How can I expect to snag a decent guy when my Guy-Q is the pits?

Guess I shouldn’t be too shocked. “Shitty” pretty much sums up my life, period. We live in a shitty apartment above our Polish bakery, my job is shitty, school is shitty except for off-campus lunch and my friends, my shitty father left when I was a bun in the oven, and the icing on the shit cake is that today is the first day of summer vacation and Cosmo says I won’t be changing my social media profile to In a Relationship anytime soon.

Source

I fling the magazine back onto the shelf. Screw Cosmo. I’m going to meet the perfect guy this summer and my Guy-Q will skyrocket to category A:  Professor of Loveology. Maybe even today, who’s to say? This morning at nine-thirty––okay, probably more like ten if we’re on Teegan-time––Teegan is going to pick me up in her kinda-old-but-still-gorgeous black convertible. We’re going to cruise to Oak Street Beach, find two boys who are also best friends, and double date all summer. And while I know that the likelihood of that happening is roughly equivalent to my mother randomly handing me fifty bucks, Teegan and I are determined to try. We’ve made double-dating our top priority this summer.

All we need are a pair of normal guys––one who wants a cute, sarcastic, medium-chested, five-foot-seven-inch blond with an average body, like me––while his friend is hoping for a petite, stunning, D-cup, perky brunette like Teegan. What’ll undoubtedly happen is that the tanned, gorgeous star of the baseball team with minty breath will fall for Teegan, while I’ll be stuck with his awkward, smelly buddy with Cheetos scum between his teeth.

What can I expect as a card-carrying member of Category D?

READ MORE THIS SUMMER - ARRIVING JULY 15th from Omnific Press!

***COVER UPDATE: Guess what?? One Smart Cookie's book cover is coming soon!! It's in the final stages and it's absolutely perfect!! *gazes off into space, smiling happily. Can't wait to show you.
Kym Brunner

Wanted: Dead or in Love, Merit Press, May 2014
One Smart Cookie, Omnific Publishing, Spring 2014
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Bio:
Kym Brunner's method of creating a manuscript: write, procrastinate, sleep, repeat. She's addicted to Tazo chai tea, going to the movies, and reality TV. When she's not reading or writing, Kym teaches 7th grade full time. She lives in Arlington Heights with her family and two trusty writing companions, a pair of Shih Tzus named Sophie and Kahlua. She's repped by Eric Myers of The Spieler Agency.