Hmm…tough topic. Not because I’m not willing to share, but mostly because I’m too much of a talker to keep secrets inside of me. (I can, and have, kept others’ secrets however, so no worries there, Friends–Who–Have-Confided-In-Me.) It’s just that when it comes to my own healthy psyche, I often like to share what’s going on in my life and get my friends’ opinions on what they would do before deciding what I should do.
But that’s not why you clicked to this article. You want the dirt.
|http://www.freedigitalphotos.net by Victor Habbick|
I would have to say my darkest secret––that I did share with others as I was going through it, but it’s something I don’t bring up on my own very often––was the time several years ago, when I found myself depressed. Not that low feeling we all get some days or by seeing an old photo of a lost loved one, but what the doctor called “short-term, sudden onset depression.” I cried several times a day, often for no reason, wallowing with sadness inside my own body and not sure why or what to do about it. Not trying to tell a Debbie Downer tale here, I only share this because if this black cloud of depression ever happens to you, you’ll know what I mean. I say happens TO you because depression felt like a foreign creature with a mind of its own had taken up residence inside of me, intent on destroying my soul. (Hmm…maybe I should write a human possession story. Oh, that’s right. I did.)
Long story short, a few events happened simultaneously that were beyond my control. Nothing big, just life stuff, but for whatever reason, the Creature from the Meanie Lagoon saw a “SPACE FOR RENT” sign in my mind, moved in overnight, and harassed me for nearly a year. I did take medication during that time, which was essential in evening out those crazy emotions, but ultimately, it was mostly the passage of time along with the realization life means constant change.
Any one who has gone through this knows how horrible this out-of-body feeling is, so my suggestion will always be to see your doctor and be honest about what’s going on with you. For me, going out in public, even if that meant reading a book in Starbucks or going to a movie alone, really helped when the creature was intent on rehashing things I didn’t want to think about. Listening to a story on tape while driving around, hanging out with friends, and of course, writing daily also helped immensely.
The creature finally got bored with me and moved on and I’m happy to report that I haven’t rented out the space to any more unwanted visitors since.